HOPE

I thought I'd ring the Bereavement Allowance office again today to see if there was any news yet as to when/if I might receive some money. "It's with the decision makers" I was told......"but you said that on the 6th" says I. "Oh I'll just check again" I'm told...."Oh yes it's been granted but it may take a few days and you will get £58.46 per week" "But I was told I'd get £87p.w." says I.

It seems that as Mick passed away 11 days before my 55th birthday I'm not entitled to the full quota. This means that my income is below the magic "£59" that the government says I should live on so I would have been entitled to Income Support since April, not had to pay Council Tax nor would I have to pay for prescriptions or dental charges. The amount of Income Support I would receive would only be about 50p per week but at least it would be a qualifying benefit and would entitle me to the aforesaid freebies.

I spoke to the Income Support Office and explained the last 9 weeks and the person I spoke to was really kind.....Income Support cannot be claimed unless you are unable (due to medical circumstances) to work. She suggested I go to my doctor and see if he will retrospectively declare me unfit for work over the last 2 months. I really didn't want to see our doctor; the one who "cared" for Mick and who called me liar on my doorstep so I asked the surgery if there was another doctor I could see. I fully expected to be told I could have an appointment next week (you have to book being ill in advance around here) but surprise of surprises she gave me an appointment for 11.20 this morning. The appointments were running late so I was in the waiting room quite a while....once again I started to feel that "panic attack" coming on, my eyes were pricking with tears and I really thought I was going to have to leave. I'm glad I managed to sit it out because the doctor I saw was really nice and so sympathetic......I'm sure my bursting into tears as I entered his room showed him the state I was in. Blubbing I explained what the person from Income Support had said and he immediately agreed that there was no way I would have been able to go to interviews or work over the last few weeks and gave me the Sick Note I needed.

So all in all it's been a difficult day but at least if the Income Support is allowed I won't have to pay for my next lot of Blood Pressure tablets and who knows MAYBE in a few days that £58.46p.w. will start coming through.

When push comes to shove my predicament is nothing compared to that of Madeleine McCann's family. I've just been catching up with the news and I'm praying that the anonymous letter that has been received is a hoax and that somewhere Madeline is safe. All my troubles seem insignificant when I look at the photo of this sweet little girl.

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