Wednesday, June 27, 2007


Over the last couple of days a few positive things have happened....they may only be small things but every plus is a bonus at the moment.
My certificate for help with health costs has come through...far quicker than I expected. This means I can now make an appointment at the dentist and also my next prescription that is due for my blood pressure tablets will be free of charge.
I've had a letter from one of Mick's Credit Card companies closing his account.
My gas company ( who estimated my bill last quarter) have read my meter and have sent me a bill showing I'm in CREDIT!!! Ya...hoo!!!
My weekly Bereavement payment came into my bank OK....(I'd really been expecting it wouldn't)
I'm going to Leanne's for the day on Thursday...she needs more gardening help and some lessons on Blogger......looking forward to that.
Manda's school have asked if I'll help with another school trip next Monday...after needlessly dreading the last one...this time I'm looking forward to it.

A few minuses
The weather!!!
Still having these sudden bouts of tears. I got really upset the other day....Mick's side of the family did little to support us when Mick was ill and to be honest (except for Lynn of course) have done nothing since. There is one member who phones every few weeks but the predominant question seems to be "Have you got a job yet".....I guess because people turned away when Mick was ill they don't understand how hard the last few years were. My "job" (for want of a better word) then was 24/7, no days off, evenings out or holidays like they had...I NEED this break it's not easy around here to find a job at the best of times. I guess they don't have the depth of relationship that Mick and I had ......we were like one person and my world has been torn apart by losing him...they don't seem to realise the grief I am going through. I can't just "dust myself off" and carry on as though nothing has happened.
I also had a bad moment last night.......Kirsty (grand daughter) and her friend were hit by a car. She seems to be OK, just shaken up; luckily the car wasn't going too fast. I don't know what the rights and wrongs of the situation were; it sounds as though Kirsty and R may not have been looking properly when they crossed the road and the car suddenly really upset me though thinking of the "might have beens". I was rather perturbed too that the driver just wound down his window and asked the girls if they were OK and then drove off.

So pluses and and downs......

the see-saw of life

“The world is but a perpetual see-saw.”
~Michel de Montaigne~
Writing this post has really helped and I've taken the bull by the horns and spoken to the family member concerned....(you'll never know how difficult that was....I'll easily speak up for someone else but not so good at speaking up for myself). They understand now how insensitive their questions were and so hopefully I won't be put in this situation again.

20 visitors have commented:

Akelamalu said...

Fantastic news on the 'financial' front Ruth, I'm just so pleased things are finally coming together. I can see you'll become a regular helper at school too, it's great that you're looking forward to it.

People can be so insensitive, asking if you have a job yet, they should walk in your shoes!

Sorry to hear about the girls accident. Why on earth didn't the driver stop and check properly that the girls were OK??? It beggars belief.

RUTH said...

Thanks Akelamula. I must admit it is nice to look forward to something. As you'll see by my update I've explained to the family member how hurtful I found things.
I'm so grateful that the girls were ok but really am astounded that the driver didn't at least get out of the car double check.

Audrey said...

You will all have been very shaken by Kirstys accident, relieved to read she seems ok and at a complete loss for words re the drivers response

Hopefully the family member will be more considerate of whats important for you right now, well done for speaking up not easy especially when your feeling vulnerable

Great news regarding the small things its often the small things that make a big difference, they are worth celebrating too x

Enjoy your day with Leanne and big HUGS to you allxx Auds

talj said...

So sorry to hear about Kirsty's accident but glad that everything seems to be ok!

Wonderful news about the credit card company and glad to see the bereavement allowance made it safely into your account!!

And WELL DONE YOU! I know how difficult it must have been for you but hope that now they will be much more considerate of you, your feelings and the whole situation!

Love and {{HUGS}} xx

Auntie Noo said...

*Phew* for Kirsty!! The what-if's don't even bear thinking about there! and YAY for writing things down and realising that you are entitled to feel however you want to! - In fact YAY for blogging!!!!! xx

CG said...

Am so glad Kirsty is ok!! Phew. Good news on the financial front too. I think you were very brave to face up to the family member as you did..WELL DONE!!! xxx

Akelamalu said...

I'm glad you spoke up for yourself Ruth, hopefully they will think twice in future. x

Kilroy_60 said...

I looks like there may be a minus for me. Did I lose my link? Or have I somehow missed it?

Came to invite you to the Friends of Kilroy Carnival. It's open to those bloggers I've exchanged links with. And their links as well. Two degrees of separation you might say.

I'd appreciate you following up with me regarding the link. Thanks.

Suzi-k said...

i think the outings will do you a world of good, just another up on the roller coaster, but hang in there, it WILL settle down.

Betty said...


I am so happy that your allowance has come through....I'm sure it is a relief..yes, there are insensitive people in this world but I'm happy that has been resolved.....

Thank you for visiting with me and taking the time to comment....I read each one and appreciate them.....

Please come again anytime.....Betty

Blue the Spa Girl said...

Oh Ruth. Life is really up and down you are so right. Glad she is okay.
What a scare!

RUTH said...

Thanks all for listening and I really appreciate your comments. Kirsty was quite shaken up and although aching a lot seems ok...I think she has learnt a valuable lesson.
Kilroy your link "Gonzo Papers" has been on my garden blog for months. Carnivals and this blog didn't really go together when I linked.

Libbys Blog said...

Glad to hear your finances are getting sorted out> I'm glad I'm not the only one who classes her blog as part of her social life!!!

RUTH said...

Thanks for dropping by Libby; hope you're feeling better. To be honest my blog is my social life...not complaining though... I like the people who drop by!

Sheila said...

I'm sorry to hear about Kirsty's accident, but thank goodness she is okay.
What is it with people asking if you have a job yet..?
I've noticed that when I meet people I haven't seen in a while that is often the first thing they ask..'Still working?'..
I'm glad you told them..!
As for helping out with the kids at school, I'm glad you are getting the opportuntiy to do it again.

Claire said...

Yep the weather has definitely been a minus! there is a wee bit of sun today but i have the snuffles now! and yes even a bit of ear juice!

I think i counted more pluses than minuses so thats great and as far as the insensitive relative i am glad you have put them right, jesus you have been working flat out the last couple of years and i think you need time to breathe.

jmb said...

Hi Ruth,
I'm sure that this is still a very tough time for you. It will be a long time, if ever, before you get over this loss of your husband. Just take care of yourself. I'm glad the children weren't seriously hurt.
I'm sorry I didn't realize till I came over here that Daisy was someone who had died. I didn't mean to be irreverent on the post on your other blog by just talking about flowers. I couldn't make this comment above since you seemed to have turned off the comments there.
I see you've changed your avatar so I thought when you came to visit for Photo Hunt it was some other Ruth.

RUTH said...

jmb; thanks for your kind words...many people only visit my gardening blog and like you would not realise the post was anything more than a photo of was just my way of honouring Daisy for those who did know; no thought that you were irreverant crossed my mind. I do change my avatar's a bit like spring cleaning or buying a new outfit...sometimes I fancy a change...nice of you to notice.

Amazing Gracie said...

Ruth...I'm thankful that things are starting to go heavy on the plus side for you. It astounds me that people can be so insensitive but I've lived it and seen it firsthand! You did the right thing by facing it and not letting it fester as I tend to do.
~~~I didn't know Daisy nor had I ever seen her blog but I spent some time reading the comments made about her. What a spirit! It does the heart good to see such love pour out for someone like that! I'm sorry I'm missed knowing her!
May the sun continue to shine on your face.

Mauigirl said...

It takes at least a year to really get through the grief after losing someone you were so close to. I have a friend who lost her husband last August and she is still having those pluses and minuses too. I'm glad you spoke up to the family member who was asking you if you had a job. My friend and her husband ran a business, and when he died she had no choice but to carry on, and I think it was just one more stress on her at a very difficult time. I was happy to hear that she now has someone to help her in the office so she can have a break from time to time. It's so important when you are trying to get through this.

I'm glad Kirsty's OK - close call!