Monday, November 27, 2006

TONGUE IN CHEEK!

This afternoon a speech therapist came to see Mick. Although Mick doesn't need speech therapy as such it was thought that she may help with ideas re his swallowing and choking. Well how on earth I have managed over the last 18 months without the information she gave me I do not know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • First of all she explained to me that the Thick and Easy that we had been using for 6 months has to be used as per THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE TIN!!!!! Now why didn't I think of that!
  • She then showed me how to measure200 mls of liquid into a jug (like it says on the tin) and how to add 2 level scoops of powder to the liquid (like it says on the tin) . She had already visited a number of patients before coming to us; so she showed me how to make sure that the scoopful is LEVEL. What you do is you take a finger from your unwashed hands and scrape off the excess Thick and Easy so that the scoop is level. I realised straight away that I had been doing this incorrectly as I always WASH my hands before preparing Mick's food or drinks.
  • Despite the fact that she had pointed the instructions on the tin out to me and showed me how to follow them; she was kind enough to write it all out in large letters on a piece of paper; she says that she will also get this typed up and send me a copy. How kind of her!

  • She then explained to me that there is a thing called a blender that I could use to puree Mick's food up with. Wonder of wonders! Do these things really exist!!!!!!!!!!
  • It also seems; and I am sure she is right; that it is possible to MASH POTATOES!!!!! Is there no end to the knowledge she was imparting! She said that I could do this with an item called a POTATO MASHER or failing that with a FORK!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • It seems it is also very important to remove bones from meat and fish. Now I THINK I may have heard that somewhere before!
  • A kitchen item, called a SIEVE, can be used for straining lumps out of things.
  • It is a good idea to be sitting up when eating. What a handy tip. I hope you're all taking notes.

Now I'm sure there was something else.................. What was it?......................I'm sure it was important........................ THAT'S IT...............I REMEMBER NOW!



IF MICK IS CHOKING STOP GIVING HIM FOOD UNTIL HE HAS STOPPED CHOKING !!!!!!!!!!!



Hang on a second while I take my tongue out of my cheek; it's starting to make ME CHOKE!



Now I know that the intentions were good and possibly all these things may be a help to some people some of the time; but honestly.................WORDS JUST FAIL ME...............



I think I shall start a book; all about USELESS INFORMATION.



OOPS! Too late.............It's already been done!


7 visitors have commented:

Ken Albin said...

And people say that there aren't true experts left in the world! Send her to me. I can use some advice about my colon problems. I'm sure she has some wisdom she can share.

Analia said...

Ruth, no therapist will teach you how to take good care of Mick I guess....and I know how you managed through all these months my friend...love, only love.
I'm happy to hear that Mick did well after the storm.
I'll come tomorrow to see how are you both doing.....you know what? i really really care of you too. Kisses, Ani

Ruby in Bury said...

LOL Ruth. Maybe Thick and Easy is a product made specifically for health professionals who are *thick* and can only explain things that are *easy*.

Shame she was no help, I hope you get someone different next time.

Mile Stones said...

It's always the same these days.
It's as if they miss out the really important stuff in the training course, or when they interview the budding therapists. Like checking whether they have a brain, or eyes & ears.
The poor girl needs some therapy, Ruth........CRAZY.

Jenny said...

I like Ruby's comment. I admire your light spirit! If it were me I'd have probably punched the poor girl.

Sheila said...

Ruth I have come to this post by way of another you did.I don't think I could have kept a straight face. I had just commented on your PAD blog, and quoted my mother..it shows she was right. This story reminds me of a Monty Python sketch where one of the chaps was told he must have a degree in the Bleeding Obvious..LOL

talj said...

Oh Ruth! How you resisted either laughing at this woman or just punching her on the nose I don't know! I am unsure whether it is just here in the UK or if its a worldwide thing but people in the 'caring' profession appear never to have had to care for a loved one in their lives. If they had they would be more understanding and yes, more sodding helpful!

Point me in this ladies direction and I will gladly teach her how to eat through a straw....then maybe I'll punch her on the nose and make it so she HAS to use that straw....I'm sorry....I wouldn't wish ill apon anyway....just stay strong in the knowledge that apparently....what goes around comes around!!!!!

{{{HUGE HUGS}}} xxx