YOU'RE A STAR!
I was looking back on my previous posts and realised how much I am sharing my once private thoughts. A few months ago I would have never been able to open up like this. It's good for me and it's good for the family. Sometimes it's difficult to tell the family during a phone call all that has been happening. And if we receive three or four family calls (as often happens) I have to try and repeat everything 3 or 4 times and try not to leave any news out. By reading my posts which are written during my chill out times they can catch up on anything I've forgotten to say.
For those of you who are just visitors dropping by I do hope that you will not find it awkward reading some of these posts. If it's all too personal for you, but you want to keep in touch, then switch over to my other blog. Please remember this blog is not written to gain sympathy; Mick and I are the lucky ones. Many people never get the chance to have "The Long Goodbye"; you only have to turn on the news or read a newspaper to realise that.
All that said I must tell those who are still reading about last night. Just before dinner Mick was looking rather uncomfortable and, as he has been a little more alert, I asked if he wanted the commode. He whispered "Yes Please". Now it's no easy task getting Mick onto the commode but I wasn't going to let it beat me. Thankfully I managed it and Mick did so well sitting there. I chatted to him constantly making sure he felt comfortable etc. At one point I said "You re a star aren't you" , his bottom lip dropped and he said "NO"; oh my breaking heart when he said that. I put him straight about that, telling him how proud I was of him and how brilliant he is. I then sang a little ditty he taught me "You're a star, you're a star. Great big..............." and Mick SANG "tits and a see through bra!". What a remarkable man he is and so wonderful to hear his sense of humour is still with him.
Manda turned up in the nick of time to help me get Mick back into bed after he had done his business and after a brief sleep I'm pleased to say he ate his dinner with great relish.
I don't have any star photos so will share with you Mick's favourite clematis, STAR of India.
4 visitors have commented:
Dear Dear Ruth & Mick, Suffolk's very own Harry Cripps! (Ruth, do tell Mick that, does he react?)
I'd love to write a decent comment, after reading this and yesterday's. Aplogies, will have to return later. I just wanted to say quickly that I think these 2 posts somehow encapsulate everything - the reflections, the beautiful story of how Mick came into your life & what he meant atfer thast past of yours. You write so naturally, no dressing it up, yet nothing hidden. That line "...not for sympathy" touched me personally straight away. I knew that is how it is. You evidently realise that not everyone has the vision or understanding to grasp that. I can think of just one person (1!)who got it into his tiny, blind mind that that was why I was using my blog to report our war last summer. Anyone who had a heart (cue Cilla!)would recognise without needing you to tell them why you are making your lives public.
It is a privilege, moreover an education, to be able to observe, it feel it, if not share it, because you publish it. It MATTERS! Have a beautiful day.
I said "quick"...Duuuurgghh! Wanted to add that I'm happy my sister, who's in North Wembley, made it here into your guestbook. Maybe she is less inclined to write like me, but I can tell you that after what she & I had to live through, she knows too. And you & Mick will have gone straight into her heart.
Hi, Ruth. Very busy morning (a 3-hour work conference on the pc phone), but I want to know how I can send you a star...or 2. Do you have an e-mail address? Can't find one. If you leave it on my blog, I'll delete it after, if you want.
Kisses, must eat!
Ruth, thanks to Mile Stone I have been reading your blog for the last week or so - thank you for sharing everything. I can't, on mine - still feel I have various public faces and personas to uphold. (I have some "secret" blogs unleashed to my "real" identity but never mind.) Anyway, I have learned so much reading you - I will try not to say anything shallow that misses the mark, just...my thoughts are with you and Mick.
I know you don't post for sympathy. However, I find you an inspiration, both of you.
Happy days.
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