At least having a lap top I can use my PC in the garden (until the battery runs out); I don't like doing it just in case I drop it or something but it's so lovely out here and while I'm relaxed I must write about finding Mick's suit.

The Funeral Directors told us last week that Mick could wear whatever we wanted. I know he will want to look his best so it had to be his suit; the last time he wore it was in May 14th 2005. Our nephew was getting married and Mick had already been visiting the doctor for some weeks; his headaches were bad and he was having difficult walking and controlling his bladder. The doctor kept saying Mick had nothing more than an ear infection. I was worried about him doing the drive (I'm a non-driver, sad to say) and Lynn had offered to pick us up but Mick insisted that as there was nothing major wrong with him that he would drive us to her house (where we were to stay the night before the wedding). I wanted to cancel our going to the wedding but Mick said there was no way he was missing his brother's son's great day. He said "as long as I stay near a toilet I'll be ok". The drive down was worrying....Mick seemed to be unsure of the way yet previously he would have been able to do it blindfolded. He had to stop in laybys a number of times and by the time we got to Lynn's a couple of hours later he couldn't make it up the stairs to the toilet in time. My poor darling was so embarrassed. We were all worried and I was glad that Lynn was doing the actual drive to the wedding venue the next day. Poor Mick had to put up with so many snide remarks that he was "pissed" during the reception as on occasions he stumbled a little and had to be shown were the loo was because each time he visited it he couldn't remember the next time where it was; I would wait outside for him as he couldn't find his way back to where we were sitting. It was a lovely fairy tale wedding........and somehow Mick got us home safely a day later.........a month or so later when his brother brought the wedding video for us to watch Mick didn't remember any of it......................

Anyway this is the suit that Mick will be wearing on the 25th...no tie though....he hated them! On Thursday Lynn and I tried to find it; I wasn't looking forward to the task...I knew just how much seeing it would upset me. As you all know over the past 2 years our house has been somewhat rearranged....the wardrobe that it used to hang in I'd had to dismantle to make more room for extra beds for visitors. I knew exactly where it was though....or so I thought!!!!! Lynn and I went through the cupboard where I thought I'd put it but it wasn't there. I looked through boxes in the garage, boxes in the bedrooms but couldn't find it. I said to Lynn "Dad knows I'm not ready to find it yet. He'll wait till it's just me on my own."

Today I found it.....exactly where I knew it was supposed to be...........exactly where Lynn and I had been fruitlessly searching on Thursday. It was the way it was meant to be.......I hugged that suit.......I could feel Mick in my arms......I cried a lot.......it was what I needed to do.......it was what I wouldn't have allowed myself to do if I hadn't been on my own.

Thanks Darling...{{{HUGS}}}