Saturday, April 07, 2007


I've been lurking today; both in blogworld, my email inbox and my comment box. Yes I have read them all; the posts, the poems, the heartfelt condolences and promises of support have not been overlooked. I am just not ready to answer patient with me. I've shed many tears it is true...not only of sadness but of pride......... I've always been an emotionally person, wearing my heart on my sleeve...........The person that I truly am has been locked away for almost 2 years now as "strength, courage and fortitude" have been mantra. I had wondered that when the time came would I be able to "break" or would that stone wall hiding my emotions be an impenetrable barrier. Well it has broken many, many times today as I read the words my blog friends around the world had written.
But please don't think I have been sitting in abject misery surrounded by soggy tissues all day. The hospital bed has been pushed back against the wall, the hoist is in the hallway...not in full view all the time, the wheelchairs are tucked out of sight in the garage, my bed is now back upstairs in OUR bedroom, the living room has started to look more like OUR living room..........and all this done before breakfast!!!!
It's going to be a long, long time before all the reminders of Mick's illness are gone especially as it is the Easter weekend, this in itself will cause many delays..note I said reminders of Micks illness...not reminders of Mick himself.....they are my comforters. The reminders I want around me and the reminders I want carry in my heart will be reminders of the REAL Mick.
Over the next few days there are many more things I want to tell you about Friday evening and many of you have touched the life of Mick and Ruth and shared in our joys and won't be all doom and gloom know me better than that!!!
For now though, before I pop over to the Easter Egg Hunt (thanks Claire for publishing today's clues) I want to share with you a poem that Kirsty, our twelve year old granddaughter, wrote about Mick a few days ago......(I did ask her first if she was happy for me to print it)


The person who I’ll never forget,
My grandad he’s the best,
He’s always helped me all the time,
He never ever made a mess.

Except from when he was painting,
You see that was his job,
He didn’t sit there doing nothing,
He wasn’t a lazy slob.

But now he can’t talk or walk,
Or do really anything,
But that don’t mean I do not care,
Because I still really love him.

There are some people, who just ignore,
They just sit there and stare,
But me and my grandad,
To be honest we don’t really care.

I know he can hear us,
Cos he gets tears in his eye,
When we read soppy cards,
Oh Grandad please don’t cry.

You’ll always have this little girl,
With the really frizzy hair,
But all that matters is just this,
I love you and I care.

Even when you’ve gone away,
I’ll think of you night and day,
I won’t forget the good times we’ve had,
We’ve never ever had any bad.

You’re always in my heart for ever,
Just you and me together,
We’ll skip along in my wonderland,
You and I hand in hand.

I love you so much,
Your golden touch,
Warms my heart,
Your 1st on my chart.

22 visitors have commented:

talj said...

Just Beautiful {{{{Comforting HUGS}}}} xxx

Mousie said...

that's a great poem Kirsty and you're a great little girl as well...we send you a kiss, love your grandma...
love from mousie

Audrey said...

I need a tissue please, and give Kirsty a big hug from me Ruth,her poem for her Grandad Mick is so beautiful, as you say the sadness mixed with pride, and thank her for sharing something so special and personal.

Thinking of you all and sending lots of hugsxxAuds

Blue the Spa Girl said...

Just to let you know I was here and read this as well.

Try to care for yourself now.

Icarus said...

Hellllo my dear friend. So glad you came through with this update on the day.
First, Kirsty, this is Uncle Icarus here to tell you are a real Princess of a Grandaughter. You Granddad will know everything you felt about him. Please don't be too sad. It will get better, promise! XXX & (((((hugs))))
Now, my beautiful Ruthie, of course we know you better than to expect you to just lie down and slither away. But listen, this time is yours. You owe none of us anything. You already achieved so much today. You can be yourself, but try taking it a little easy too, to be good to yourself. When you want, I'm here.
Bless you, for everything you have done for Mick & everything you have taught all of us who have been with you. That is not over. Not by a very long way.
With all the love

CG said...

That poem is a wonderful tribute - Kirsty, it's beautiful.

Julie xx

Claire said...

No answers are needed from you. We know you will be back when you can.

The Egg Hunt goes on! no thanks needed.

The poem was beautiful.

Thinking of you xxxxxx

mrsnesbitt said...

Ruth, sending you so many hugs.
Such a beautiful post

Hugs from up North


Petunia's Gardener said...

So sorry for your loss. Do give yourself the time you need and let each day be as it is. There are no 'shoulds' during this time. Thank you for sharing Mick and your adventures together with us. Paula

Analía said...

A beautiful poem, from a beautiful heart....Kristy saw what many adults sometimes refuse to see...
A big hug for her.
Ruth, I've read all the comments in your last two posts...girl you are so loved! I'm so PROUD of being your friend :)

Sometime ago you posted some pictures of Mick in different moments of his life. Remember? I'd like everybody could see that post on DECEMBER 21, 2006 again...and remember the real Mick that stole your heart....and ours.

Scarecrow said...

Many more hugs from here too!
You'll need them more than ever in these next few days!
You have a beautiful family around you.

Gledwood said...

Mick will never be truly gone because it's obvious to me he changed your lives so much for the better. What he left behind, something you cannot see or touch but can only feel, that will never go away.

I'm so sorry Ruth. Right now nothing else to say.


Sheila said...

Kirsty is wise beyond her years. Her thoughts and feelings, her love for her Grandad so eloquently put, tell all of us she comes from good stock.
I have only been visiting here since the PAD blogs began Jan 1/07, and in that short time I have learned so much from you.
The memory of your wonderful relationship with Mick, that you so selflessly shared with us each day, with stay with me always.
Tears heal the heart, let them flow..
love to you dear Ruth

Jenny said...

What a beautiful poem - it says so much about Mick, about Kirsty and the love in your family. She has taught us all a lot in such a quick moment.

HUGS to you, Ruth!

Libbys Blog said...

Are younger generation, can be so wise! A beautiful heartfelt poem.

Anonymous said...

Thank you every one for reading my poem and i love you so much nan i will see you soon be brave xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxlove kirsty

Icarus said...

Wishing you a gentle warm morning, Ruth and all those around you at home.
This what the Portugese call to "marcar presença" - demonstrate that I am 'present' with you.
I have just read what Anita wrote ealr this morning and I have to say something, because it shows 2 minds in synchronisation: yesterday from the time I read your news, your post that Ani speaks of, 21 December, was in my mind. Even late last night, some of the pictures of the healthy Mick before this all began were coming to me clearly.
I second Ani's suggestion to any visitor who hasn't yet seen that collection of photos that made such a strong, touching statement to go back into the archives and you will have a true sense of this great man, and Ruth's deep love and devotion as she composed and published the post for all to see and share.
And wonderful to see young Kirsty mark her presence too. Kisses for Kirsty. Kisses to Ruth. Healing for all of the family and friends

Sylvia said...

You have been in my thoughts all weekend. Kirsty, your poem is a nice tribute to your Grandad Mick. Ruth, you are an amazing person. Take care of yourself. {{{{Hugs}}}}

mrsnesbitt said...

Just re-read this poem, it is wonderful.
Kirsty has put into words something that is so special.

Akelamalu said...

The poem brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes and heart. Kirsty must be one special girl.

Mauigirl said...

What a wonderful poem. Kirsty sounds as if she is very special.

Thinking of you today, Ruth...take all the time you need to grieve. As you said, you've been strong for so long - it's time to lean on your family and take some time for yourself to absorb your loss.

Pat said...

My dear Kirsty...

That poem is just so very special and for Grandma, it is extra special.

Thanks for writing that for your wonderful Grandad.

It was so beautiful.